~Two Elements~ revised

The wind collects secrets
as he soars through the lands.
A river gathers answers
as she travels created paths.

Secrets journey distances
whispered to the trees.
Answers roll with currents;
delivered to the waters edge.

Distances haunt a man
that knows of a secret.
Currents draw a woman
troubled by a question.

A man walks among the trees
listening for a whisper.
A woman sits on a waters edge
raking the earth for the answer.

The trees are the doors
to all the many secrets
caught amongst the air
blowing in the winds.

The banks, edges along her path,
are the keepers of the answers
that move with timeless waters

traveling down rivers.

©River 7/10

The poem is written in a  form called  ‘paradelle’.  This poem is a revision of the first ‘Two Elements’.

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ram0singhal
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 03:22:29

    divine…….very very nice……journey and destination together….

    creative enlightenment……..

    love all….

    Reply

  2. AD
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 10:35:10

    A beautiful composition…

    Reply

  3. slpmartin
    Jul 18, 2010 @ 22:32:26

    Very interesting changes between this and the last version…were the changes made in order to facilitate the consistency of imagery of the poem or to comply with style issues? Just curious since there are some major changes in the poem.

    Reply

  4. ziibi1
    Jul 20, 2010 @ 09:21:17

    It was for consistency and bringing it closer to what I see in my mind. I think it could have a couple different versions. lol

    Reply

  5. Jingle
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 12:08:53

    vivid and well done!

    Reply

  6. Jingle
    Jul 25, 2010 @ 12:09:01

    Reply

  7. brian
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 05:01:25

    very nice….intriguing that it would be the banks that hold the answers…which many sail right by in the journey forward….

    Reply

    • River
      Aug 26, 2010 @ 05:35:52

      It makes sense when few find the answers they are searching for in their lives. You have to stop and dig/rake/work for them.

      Reply

  8. Manda
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 09:52:21

    Scripted with elegance and beauty…

    Reply

  9. misty
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 10:55:41

    i wasn’t familiar w/ this paradelle, but i love it. i loved a 2nd reading where i read just the secret/wind/tree storyline and then the river/answer/banks story. i love the image of the wind as secret-collector, and especially as the trees whisper it back (i often imagine the trees are talking just to me!). this is deep, and quite provoking.

    Reply

  10. whimsyrighthere
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 16:16:41

    gathering answers. thank you for that voice.

    Gloria

    Reply

  11. in the hush of the moon
    Aug 27, 2010 @ 00:53:04

    raking the earth for the answer… i LOVE this. thank you so much for linking, friend. it’s beauty, here.

    Reply

  12. River
    Aug 27, 2010 @ 03:51:15

    Doesn’t it make sense? 🙂

    Reply

  13. Talon
    Aug 27, 2010 @ 16:47:18

    I remember your Two Elements poem well and I enjoyed re-reading it and then reading this. I love the “trees are the doors”. Yes, answers aren’t always easy to find, but they are definitely worth the effort.

    Reply

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