at Dusk, it Begins…. (revised)

at Dusk, it Begins….

stillness shields the air and
parched earth from the humid day
it begins to lightly rain

a burst of light
brightens the dusk lit eve
diminishing the calm
announcing the arrival

from the West come winds
lifting trees into slow dance

echoes of thunder vibrate
beats from beneath
sprinkles grow to drops
the parched earth drinks

the wind picks up and howls
whipping the huge maple around
around in a frantic dance

reaching boundaries and limits
revealing truths of me

bolts of light explode in thought
forming silhouettes of trees
exposing their surrender
night engulfs day

unlocking the power
two forces explode
releasing their hold

the wind moves on
rain begins to slow

the horizon lights up
in a burst of electric white
scattered across the sky
a distant rumble fades

a smell grows of
new rains and
cleansed earth

renewed in life
imbued in me

once more
River 7/10

his poem was inspired from my ramblings during a thunderstorm.  At one point, sirens went off and we went to the basement. Also, I was inspired by the writings of  slpmartin with the writing style. :)

*revised from a poem earlier in the summer. Are they different? Find the older version and compare them.  🙂    same name just scratch revised.  🙂

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29 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. slpmartin
    Sep 21, 2010 @ 13:06:30

    Really love the imagery of the poem…the power of a thunderstorm always places life into perspective for me….really found your words in the poem to be a vivid portrait.

    Reply

  2. Jingle
    Sep 21, 2010 @ 21:14:47

    well done!

    Reply

  3. Trackback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 (Sept 23-29) | Jingle
  4. Olivia
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 05:20:05

    Lightning..? Here’s mine about that- http://oliviasbiopiclog.wordpress.com/2010/09/21/lighting-desire/
    Very nicely penned.. I could some what relate to it.. nice imagery.. 🙂 worth a read- thought provoking.. It had taken me back to that thundering evening.. 🙂

    Happy Rally Darling..
    xoxox
    http://oliviasmindlymatters.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/678/

    Reply

  5. siubhan
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 07:08:43

    powerful imagery in this piece. “revealing truths of me…” verry nice.

    Reply

  6. River
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 07:46:31

    thank you Olivia and siubhan. 🙂

    Reply

  7. Jingle
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 21:43:45

    lovely flow,
    your writing never fails.

    Reply

  8. Jingle
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 21:43:52

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/09/22/thursday-poets-rally-week-29-sept-23-29/

    hello, friend:

    I invite you to Attend Thursday Poets Rally Week 29, linking in a poem by commenting,

    Happy Thursday!

    Reply

  9. Trackback: Agreement 4 Thursday Poets Rally Week 29 Participants | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
  10. Jingle
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 22:06:53

    Thanks for joining in…
    I do feel tired, love your humor and sweet nature.

    Reply

  11. Morganna
    Sep 23, 2010 @ 22:09:51

    Very evocative of the storm.

    Reply

  12. Angela Cohan
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 02:14:29

    This is wonderful–I loved the descriptive imagery.

    Reply

  13. Kiera
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 04:33:05

    “the horizon lights up
    in a burst of electric white
    scattered across the sky”

    — definitely my favourite part; great imagery!

    I liked this poem a lot 🙂

    Reply

  14. frayedges
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 07:33:19

    Storms can evoke so many emotions. The imagery here is nicely done. I enjoyed reading this.

    Reply

  15. River
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 08:27:01

    Thank you all for your nice compliments.

    Reply

  16. Someone Is Special
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 09:03:16

    I loved it totally.. emotions at its best..

    Rhyming Waters

    –Someone Is Special–

    Reply

  17. dancingfreak
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 09:20:11

    lovely 🙂

    glad you were inspired so well 😀

    could feel your every word and could picture this poem 🙂

    the nature’s play alright 😉

    Reply

  18. Leo (Leonnyes)
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 13:09:53

    oh, the nature.. it does get cleansed by the rain for sure.. lovely poetry, River 🙂

    Rally Week 29, My Poem

    Reply

  19. SenderUpWords
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 15:43:45

    Last two lines are perfect in ending this write. Love. Love and Light, Sender

    Reply

  20. Cerridwyn Tiponi
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 17:03:12

    renewed in life…imbued in me…lovely words. great how the image of rain cleanses to renew life. very beautiful.

    Reply

  21. tasithoughts
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 18:20:54

    Love your descriptive words that bring back to me thunderstorm memories of the actual kind and the emotional kind….good job!

    Reply

  22. lovelyannie79
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 20:11:05

    As i was reading I thought “Reminds me of a thunderstorm”

    Great poem! I can taste the air in this moment…

    Happy Rally!

    http://lovelyannie79.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/portrait-of-a-lady/

    Reply

  23. Deborah Horton
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 08:39:11

    I love the power of storms 🙂 Love this too!

    Deborah

    http://deborahhorton.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/journey/

    Reply

  24. River
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 08:47:18

    Thank you everyone! 🙂

    Reply

  25. liv2write2day
    Sep 25, 2010 @ 12:32:51

    Wonderful sensory descriptions of a thunderstorm!
    Victoria
    http://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/ear-worms-a-poem-for-jingles-poetry-rally/

    Reply

  26. Sina Saberi : The Blog
    Sep 26, 2010 @ 09:49:46

    this is so wordsworth ! beautiful

    Reply

  27. Reetam Majumder
    Sep 27, 2010 @ 03:10:42

    i love it when it rains. and its raining right now. superb imagery…
    loved this poem.

    Reply

  28. Trackback: Fabulous Treats In Poetry (Highlight of Thursday Poets Rally week 29 Poetry) | Promising Poets' Parking Lot

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